When i started this blog 4 years ago i did it because  i was bored at night and wanted to show off my adorable family.......... i was flippant, mouthy and indulged and didn't know, nor did i care about much past my drama ...... four years later  things are not ADORABLE nor are they boring, they are complicated and iam  still indulged ........ But for the people that read this know what comes out on this blog is no longer really for public viewing ! This is were i get to BITCH!! BE IMPERFECT!! have FEELINGS!! be MAD!! Be INSECURE ,QUESTION!!  NOT BE IN CHARGE of SHIT!! NOT FEEL BAD for thinking!! I GET  to be SAD and CRY here i don't have to be strong here ...i dont have to save anyone ..... Let me have this .......... I KNOW  iam AMAZING, WONDERFUL and LOVING LOL honey tis why i wear  any one of my 10 crowns :)............... What iam trying to say is this is my space for as long as i type its were i mix my thoughts with my life sometimes its not nice or good or fair but its how i feel at that moment .... Iam like a crow deep thought HEY WAIT SHINY !  get what iam saying???  LOVE to you all !! iam ok ..damn OK actually !!............... but iam sad and i miss her so much .. for all of you its been a few weeks but for me its been months .......