This was the DAILY BITCH on the day my Friend!!!...my Mommy died....... Is it not what it should have been?? I went to work that day not because i had to BECAUSE i NEEDED too.I flipped the calendar and THIS was the BITCH!! LOL DAMN STRAIGHT!! .........id slept 30 minutes that night when i got the call ...... the call i couldn't under stand what he was saying the call i FLEW outta bed to answer The call i KNEW was coming...... The call the call ...... The call i officially lost the 1 person that knew ME!!! LOVED ME UNDERSTOOD ME!! Her and i solved the world problems a zillion times..and people seriously she was a republican and i democrat... both bossy and WE figured it out!!?? OK OK Vodka was involved LOL) the call that separates me from all of them.. THE call i had hoped that would come sooner then later.... YES I SAID IT!! SOONER!! FASTER!! it took WAY TO LONG for that call!! she was DONE!~!! she didn't give up!! She took her FIRST PAIN pill 1 hour 15 minutes before she died......... She is gone from MY world i cant touch her i cant feel her.... I HAD HOPED some amazing SOMETHING would happen that would make me OK with it...make me feel she is "whipping" my sister into shape ... Make me know that her and Grandma Betty are playing with my big brother Kurt.. that they are ALL in a happy place........................But NOOOOOOOOOO thats not what is. But you know what IS??? what is is that she is no longer looking at me with those GIANT GLOWING blues eyes in PAIN looking at me wanting me to make it stop!!she is not trying to make everything OK for us! she NO longer hurts!! and that people is MOST important...Ive missed her for months.......HER!! those who knew her under stand what i am saying those who dont can just chalk it up as me being a Bitch ...... But today this day i Miss my FRIEND !!! My lets go have fun partner!! my Mommy!!!! i am BROKEN i am wishing i could have a THOUSAND redo's I WISH I WISH a ton of things but i do NOT wish she was still here ..............I Hope she is free of pain i hope she is HAPPY!!! I hope I get to see HER again............. Every day with her was a gift i just DIDN'T know!!!!
The two of you are two peas in a pod!! She was full of "Light" and could make you laugh, and you to have that gift...don't lose it. Our world is so much emptier now, when I called Bea and told her your Mom had left us, she said to me..."What do we do now?" I'm still working on an answer...life is simply one day at a time, but darn it some of those days are really hard!! You will have us for as long as our days continue.... Let's keep lauging, your Mom would be all for that!!
ReplyDeleteSo empty ....... but yes you are right!!! lets keep laughing !lets keep smiling lets keep getting things done!!! life is so short and i love you two women so much!! THANK YOU both for letting me have you !! i had already stole you in my mind!! Yes you know me i take all the good stuff first!! :O) I love you and Bea so much.. my heart is happy that you two are in this world!! go call your children send them love tell them the TRUTH about how things are in your worlds!! and if there is any 1 thing i can do for either of you KNOW i am here for you !! id even do freaken dishes and stuff ;op !! HUGS!!! and all i have Rama
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