need a new job

OK i had another picture for this and i
didn't like it so i googled "dad" for something
a bit more not sad and this was the
#1 goggle image!!!

So i have a thousand things i wanna say.. a thousand thoughts running threw my mind.... A ZILLION small stories i wanna share ............. But mostly i want my dad to be OK !! He is outwardly doing well.. he is outwardly holding on.. he is outwardly doing what we flyums do ..  But i know a few things that 43 years of knowing some one gives you ....He is a little lost .....he is sad... he doesn't  know what to do next... the house is too big ..too empty... too full of memories................To QUIET!!! .................I don't know how he does it every day ..OK MOSTLY EVERY NIGHT!!  To sit in that house to hear nothing !!! After 30 years of NOISE!! of 5  Children running,SCREAMING, LAUGHING. of a wife running, laughing, screaming,loving !!! of friends dancing, laughing, screaming.. To Grandchildren and Great grandchildren throwing things crying, laughing, getting into things ...of a TV at FULL blast at MUSIC playing!!! sometimes all these things at the same time... ok alot of the times this all happened at the same time Ü ...........  SILENCE!! the sound of NOTHING !!! (its my biggest fear!!! my biggest pet peeve !!!i HATE the sound of silence !!! ) i don't know how he does it... i don't know how to make it better ........... Mostly i don't know what to do!!! That's my job!! its what i do!! I FIX things !! its what ive ALWAYS  DONE!!!  i cant fix any thing any more .........i have lost my job.......