Sunday, January 13, 2013

Question! and iam still asking the same Question, its been a question for me for a LONG LONG time!!! But as i watch some one drown them self's .. i still have the same damn question!!! i think its a fair question and iam not being judgmental or mean or hateful i seriously wanna know WHY??!! How do you throw everything away for booze?? how do you drown your self into almost death daily ?? HOW?? WHY??? what makes you just throw everything thing that matters away?? People !!! we all know i LOVE me some cocktails!!! Damn i love me a cocktail and these days i make a very serious effort to make it once a week date with my love of them.  So iam not some non drinker judging !!! I watched  my sister do it.. she never could tell me why... she had alot of what i called "real life"  ehhhh (I just thought of something while i type this ........... EVERYTHING happens for a reason you know that quote that stupid ass one everyone says NOW i get it NOW i understand. Its better she is gone now.. she couldn't have handled life right now. Lesson number 2 everything happens for a reason!) ............. Ok any way back to my question WHY WHY AND HOW ???? and when is it ok to walk away?? when is ok to let them drown ? i walked away once it didn't help she is dead. if i walk away again  will it end up any different?? iam thinking no is the answer its just now, today, right now ,i don't have the energy, the time, nor the ability to fight for them.  I KNOW this but i dont want to feel bad or guilty or  have the i "should haves"..... my plate is full.. past full i am saying uncle LOL wouldnt that be awesome if you could really do that ?? ;op OK i guess what iam really asking is for the ability to walk away....for it to be ok for me to do so ... for ME not to try and fix what i can not fix...............

1 comment:

  1. It is OK. We all have loved ones that we want to save from themselves, I want to believe that every family has this problem and not just OUR family. I will tell you what I told my Daughter when she was having a nightmare with her child...All you can do is love them...they have to save themselves. That sounded a little harsh, but you can't make a grown-up go to their room...they have to save themselves! No matter how much we want to make the bad go away...you can only do so much, then its up to them. Love you....

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