I LOVE  MY SISTER!!! !!!!! love her more Every freaken time we talk!!  all those years born WAY after me what eves!! ................ a life wasted,a life trying to end, Time  time time ....WHAT THE hell ever !!!  WE GOT THIS!!! She makes me LAUGH!!! OMG i think she is slightly touched but FUNNY! this is the sister who Puked in my mouth!! this sister i get to bitch about shit with about ! Shit we know ! Shit we will protect!! shit we wont  deal with !! and she is teaching me how to skate backward WHOOP!! People its a site to behold I tell you!!
CHUCKY I FUCKEN LOVE YOU!!! .................................................  and you have kept me sane or as sane i can be THANK YOU!!!! LOVE YOU !!!! and god knows i dont throw that out much!!!!!!!

Edited !!! TMI for all!

Tick Tock TIME!!

Time ..... I spend way to much time wishing i had more of it and WAY to much wishing it would hurry up and pass. What makes one hour go in like 3 minutes and the other go in what seems  like 24 hours? ~~Its  What you do and whom your with....???

I do NOT want time to stand STILL !! Ive seen it and its not pretty at all !! You cant get TIME back EVER!  No matter how hard you try .... LIVE! LIVE !TODAY !! Be ALIVE !! ~~ Don't just breathe air !LIVE do what you must !Love whom you do ! Change what you can! JUST LIVE EVERY FREAKEN DAY!!! Time...........  tick tock tick tock its NOT on your side !

BABY I AM AWAKE AND IAM ALIVE !

MORE THEN EVER NOW!! 

three months stilllll blows

Baby sister!!! i miss you!! your mess!! your random craziness!! i  i JUST MISS YOU!!! the girl ive missed for a long time, the girl  i thought would just pull threw !!you are a flyum !!! we ALWAYS make it through .... apparently we don't ... apparently we some times just breathe  (OK thats what iam doing) Apparently some of us die !!!  ~~~~  note to you he is going to need you. he is heading  to rehab maybe he will make it ??I hope so!  i wont bury some else this year!!
 hey BIG Al have ya meet  Tim  yet ?????  ya need too.. you two a HAVE to save our boy!! and i believe with you and him together as a team it could work!! Or you two would just cause a GREAT ruckus and sweeet Jesus never mind that makes my brain hurt! BAHHHA!! Miss you I just fucken miss you!! ~~~~

* Note I wrote this on the third month of her death. fuck can the 10th ever come by and I wont think of her? I went to taco Bell and ordered an extra Taco to bring home for her last weekend . I FUCKEN HATE taco bell.........
*** Check out the fact that iam HUGELY PREGO (month 9 and days)  with Fallin .... John Kosch is Santa and Alexe is an Elf......IF I KNEW THEN what id Know NOW but i didn't so there ya have it.....

Just the Ocean ....

 I Love the Ocean its so amazing .... calming yet powerful . I find my self walking the beach when happy, when thoughtful, when sad, when i just want fresh air. Things feel so much better here.

So i wanna write about something positive  I  wanna type something up lifting iam tired of being sad iam tied of being ANGRY !! i have a pretty sweet life really and so I say lets check out things that make me smile and some days thats all ya need or ask for!

this was lovely

these people are good fun and funny!! they keep me sane and insane  and i love them all!! this is what they do this who they are THEY are fab!!