A Birthday Gift to my self !!

Today is my birthday .... today was TOUGH really TOUGH ....... some days are hard today was one of those days.............. I didn't get my birthday call , i didn't get to TOAST with her ............. I didn't get my HUG ,i didn't get a birthday cake ............ She ALWAYS made me a cake cause well she ALWAYS did (plus no one else ever has or will) ......Damn i miss her!! ...... Today iam 47 and 47 is good !! At the gym this morning i ran and ran and ran ( PEOPLE  iam RUNNING!! so excited i could.... i don't know something!!) and thought and thought and thought...... My plate is once again FULL WAY too FULL!! Way to full of people giving up and not LIVING life ,not being who and what they could be.. and ya know what it pisses me off!!! Iam TIRED IAM DRAINED i CAN NOT SAVE  them!!! And i don't WANT TOO!!! I want to breathe the sea air, i want to smile cause i can, i want to enjoy my "babies" last year of high school. I want to take life for what its worth and then spin it!!! i dont wanna take care of 40+ year old children !! I just dont!! and i have to ask why should i ?? yep same answer I DONT!!! So as a gift to myself and as a nod to my mother i will NOT !! Not my shit !and iam finally saying you.. save you i cant !!! and i wont!!  So happy Birthday to ME !! a gift NO one can give  wrapped in a shiny glittery bow !!!! FREEDOM to walk away ............. walking