Life damn you just never know.....

Some AWESOME stuff has happened in the last few months also some SHITTY stuff is happening . But life it is that way..... So as a girl who thinks the glass is half FULL lets go with the good stuff first ..........

Age 5 first day of school 

My little girl has graduated ! headed to to college and has her head on straightish and has dreams .And that my friends is good stuff ....

 This is my daughter in law  who is  soooooooooo pregnant with "little" baby Harper Anne  whom they think is gonna be 12lbs when she born...... poor girl still has 2 months to go !





My awesome son did what he loves to do FISH!! halibut for the win!!








So this my friends is the stuff we need to enjoy !! the stuff we need to enjoy the stuff that makes life good!! this stuff makes that other stuff WORTH it!!

Fun News

I shall have my first GRANDDAUGHTER!! Iam doing a life time of happy dancing!! Ü I LOVE MY BOYS !!! come on look at them ....can they be any more ADORABLE??? my last girl baby was 18 years ago iam EXCITED for this baby!! hell it wouldn't have mattered if was a boy sooo stink-en CUTE!!! ...... So we are waiting for you HARPER!! (so LOVE THAT NAME!!  almost as good as Regan!! lol!!)........ PLUS come on check out how Allie told her hubby!!! that is the most freaken cutest thing ive EVER SAW!!

MY beautiful, dyslex, daughter ... My Daughter whooo WORKED HER ASS off just to pass a class.. my MOUTHY, SMART ASS, TAKES NO BULL SHIT DAUGHTER!!. .. Is now going to college... iam so proud of her pick of a major !! ID NEVER EVER DO IT !!!( I would end up killing people and really that's no good )

the little things they make me smile 

i HOPE she makes a difference,i hope her giant heart stays whole, i hope she wakes up every day HAPPY with her choice ! Iam PROUD of her.. sooo PROUD my heart wants to EXPLODE!!  ~~~ So for the little things lets all just GRAB those and smile!!!

FAT!! AGAIN!!!

these are not my feet .. but the scale say's the same!

Shit shit shit!!!! I finally hit the gym again... i thought id DIE!!! On the one hand i MISSED it....( mostly i missed the RELEASE ) on the other hand i HATE HATE working out!! Christ on a crutch it SUCKS!!! Ok really i don't mind working out what  i mind is i HAVE too!! Just to be a normal sorta chubby weight girl ( ok iam 5'2 and a HALF and i should weight 125 ... on the heavy side of 5.2 that will NEVER FREAKEN HAPPEN!!) But i haven't ran 1 freak-en mile since July 11th ... I ran on  the 11th for miles and miles and miles with OUT MUSIC with out recording it i just walked out my door and RANNNNNNNNN ( i know for a fact it was over 12 miles cause i used to run 11 miles in one shot at least once every month and i know exactly how many miles every path in homer has ) I was already sporting a hip flexer injury ..but after that run i had torn my hip flexer and that injury is the WORST!!!.. I was stressed.. i was drinking.. i was smoking.. (hell i still am) i have ALLOT OF EXCUSES!!!  But NONE of them VALID !! And i held my weight ( not to say i wanst getting bigger i was !! i weighted the same but my ass was fitting into NOTHING... INCHES PEOPLE INCHES you would be surprised!)  up until the last month and BAM i hit the NUMBER and  3 pounds over ...( My number 2 years ago was 200 my number 5 years ago 250  (hey your talking to a chick that weighed 265 at her PRIME so dont JUDGE) ... doesn't everyone have a number that makes them RETHINK?? Ive ALWAYS been fat so Tell me i am not the only one that has a number..... ANYWAY!!!! back to the point... my ass is now trying to go back to the gym i have to make  it a PRIORITY again !! In my mind i think if i make it public ill do it!

hey i HAVE A DREAM TOO!!

I REALLY REALLY wanna run again but iam AFRAID !! I cant tell you how much that injury HURT ( i have an HUGE.. GIANT ..AMAZING pain tolerance but that made me cry just to WALK) BUT i WILL run the heart run again this year i might not be fast but it WILL get done!! at this point just to BE ABLE to run is a GIFT!! Besides ive already lapped anyone just laying on the couch!!!RIGHT??...................

some things DON'T translate!!

OK i have learned a MOST, MOST valuable lesson this week. Words you type DO NOT translate as you THINK THEM!! I am afraid i have offended someone this week and i really had NO intention of doing so. Mostly iam a sarcastic and mouthy and that's the way i type and talk . But with out your VOICES, tone, eye-rolls ,giggles, smirks.....WHAT  you type can just sound MEAN!! I honestly didn't mean it that way!!! BUT i could be wrong and she got what i was saying. She is a DAMN smart cookie !! .......... it was already very fragile ground at best . So HERE where i put all my true thoughts i APOLOGIZE  if I have offended you or made you feel bad i DID NOT mean it that way HONESTLY!!!..I REALLY REALLY appreciate the hand YOU have extended!! I just forgot that you don't know me that well and don't get my smart ass mouth!  ......(LOL on the up side people whom have known me my whole life don't either)  You don't know how much it meant to me to get to go to the 70th, to find out out where i got my stupid ass crooked smile, to get a peek at that side!!~~ iam not MEAN and really all i wanted to say was SORRY  if i hurt your feelings!

Its Christmas OR the girls get fancy!!

What they created

Today is one of  "my other  daughters birthdays" I LOVE that my daughter and her are STILL best friends (since3rd grade)  I LOVE that they took a "BREAK"... I love MORE that they found each other again!! I fed Them What  Hydrophonic  wanted. She picked ceaser salad and cheese bread ... OK she  couldn't pick between cheese and garlic so i made both. I MADE them do the ginger bread house its been sitting here for weeks for them!! And since they were already artsy I had them  finish the melted snow man cookies.This is there inner MARTHA'S......
Apparently the death HOUSE is working !!  Seriously SIX teenagers on  their friends 18th birthday and christmas break ... JUST  wanting Ceaser Salad, a movie and time with there friends???  YEP thats the good Stuff!!!

The Gingerbread man takes a fall ..........

Blood every place

The roof 

Juli Girl got em rolling 

Teenagers don't discount them they are really amazing people ! JUST SAY-EN!!

A Gift

Tis the Season !!! This is a weird season this year so much not planned,all of us avoiding in our own ways. Its hard ..this was her favorite holiday. Today is the 5th month she has been gone.  It hurts less now but it still hurts. Was doing some shopping and saw the Life Saver candy books and grinned to myself and then picked one up and out wardly smiled  . She used to buy these EVERY year  for the kids. Witch used to make laugh cause mom and i used to get these for her....... I had the most AMAZING talk with my mom a week ago we talked about Alexe. She "felt" her  and knows she is OK now. I find it comforting that she feels this way. It makes me less Angry at the sheer waste of  her death. Now if I could get past the guilt i think i might be alright. I keep telling everyone else not to feel guilty because really you can not fix someone who doesn't wanna be fixed and I KNOW this!!! Its just hard to shake the what if's...... ... Today I believe i will play really bad Christmas music. wrap presents and enjoy the season for what it is. Although different this year I will enjoy it!! I also think i will go buy one of those life saver books and put it under my tree. A gift for us all, the gift of remembering  a goofy memory~~~

Dancing in the Rain!!!

So today  instead of  morning the loss of someone who has left this earth far to young I decided to spend the day with the YOUNG !! Mostly i just could NOT force myself to attend another funeral this year. And especially not this one. I waffled back and back and forth and decided the laughter and innocence of two of my favorite short people would be a FAR BETTER way to spend the afternoon and evening Ü

Ari made her own pizza FANCY

Blake and Ari work on an Xmas present shhh don't tell !!

Ari paints her hands for her own ART

front of their ginger bread house 

Ari's side of the house 

"Rama i wanna stir !! WOW this is hard" 

Blake gets in the action w/ strawberry creme cheese 

Strawberry is YUM!!

Making her necklace &eating chocolate cereal 

Finished product !

Rama these are yummy in my tummy!!